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Kevin Fischer is a veteran broadcaster, the recipient of over 150 major journalism awards from the Milwaukee Press Club, the Wisconsin Associated Press, the Northwest Broadcast News Association, the Wisconsin Bar Association, and others. He has been seen and heard on Milwaukee TV and radio stations for over three decades. A longtime aide to state Senate Republicans in the Wisconsin Legislature, Kevin can be seen offering his views on the news on the public affairs program, "InterCHANGE," on Milwaukee Public Television Channel 10, and heard filling in on Newstalk 1130 WISN. He lives with his wife, Jennifer, and their lovely young daughter, Kyla Audrey, in Franklin.

The mainstream media's crying towel: Illegal aliens are not illegal!

Illegal immigration


The left goes into a full throttled tizzy at the mere mention of the term, “illegal alien.”

No Human Being is Illegal

With all due respect, it’s not rocket science. To borrow a phrase that’s been mentioned many, many times:

What part of illegal don’t you understand?


illegal alien



a foreigner who has entered or resides in a country unlawfully or without the country's authorization.


a foreigner who enters the U.S. without an entry or immigrant visa, especially a person who crosses the border by avoiding inspection or who overstays the period of time allowed as a visitor, tourist, or businessperson.



When I worked at WTMJ, I had the privilege of interviewing William Lutz, the author of “Doublespeak.” writes:

In an increasingly Orwellian world, everyone should be armed with this hilarious, slyly subversive deconstruction of the slippery locutions of spinmeisters from all walks of public life. Doublespeak guru William Lutz (Doublespeak, The New Doublespeak) is uniquely qualified to bring you this supremely funny expos‚ of the juiciest ways THEY are trying to bamboozle you!

A sampling of Doublespeak Defined:

Bald n./ :hair disadvantaged
Men in Japan aren't bald; they're "hair disadvantaged," according to The Japan Economic Journal.

Diet n./ :1.nutrional avoidance therapy 2. caloric reduction program

Frozen adj./ :1 deep chilled 2. fresh 3. hard chilled 4. previously frozen

The USDA considers processed chickens "fresh," not frozen, if they have been chilled to 28 degrees Fahrenheit. Chickens so processed have not been frozen but "deep chilled."

Light Switch n./ :ideogram illumination intensity adjustment potentiometer

Waste paper basket n./ :user-friendly, space-effective, flexible desk side sortation unit

Lutz himself writes:

Doublespeak is language that only pretends to say something; it's language that hides, evades or misleads.

Doublespeak comes in many forms, from the popular buzzwords that everyone uses but no one really understands - "glocalization," "competitive dynamics," "re-equitizing" and "empowerment" - to language that tries to hide meaning: "re-engineering," "synergy," "adjustment," "restructure" and "force management program."

With doublespeak, no truck driver is the worst driver, just the "least-best" driver, and bribes and kickbacks are called "rebates" or "fees for product testing." Even robbery can be magically transformed with doublespeak, as a bank in Texas did when it declared a robbery of an ATM to be an "authorized transaction." Willie Sutton would have loved to have heard that.

Automobile junkyards, junk and used car parts have become "auto dismantlers and recyclers" who sell "predismantled, previously owned parts." Don't want people to know you're in the business of disposing of radioactive and chemical wastes? Then call your company "U.S. Ecology Inc."

Wages may not be increasing, but the doublespeak of job titles sure has increased. These days, your job title has to have the word "chief" in it. How many kinds of "chiefs" are there? Try these titles on for size: Chief Nuclear Officer, Chief Procurement Officer, Chief Information Officer, Chief Learning Officer, Chief Transformation Officer, Chief Cultural Officer, Chief People Officer, Chief Ethics Officer, Chief Turnaround Officer, Chief Technology Officer, and Chief Creative Officer. After all the "operations improvement" corporations have undergone, you have to wonder who all those "chiefs" are leading. Never before have so few been led by so many.

These days, a travel agent may be called a "travel counselor," "vacation specialist," "destination counselor" or "reservation specialist." As part of their merger, Chase Manhattan Bank and Chemical Bank decided that the position of "Relationship Manager" would be divided between executives of both banks. What is a "Relationship Manager"? Once upon a time this person was called a salesman. And if you're late in paying your bill after buying something from one of these "Relationship Managers," you'll be called by the "Persistency Specialist," or bill collector. If you're "downsized," the "Outplacement Consultant" or unemployment counselor will help you with "re-employment engineering," or how to find another job.

With doublespeak, banks don't have "bad loans" or "bad debts"; they have "nonperforming assets" or "nonperforming credits" which are "rolled over" or "rescheduled." Corporations never lose money; they just experience "negative cash flow," "deficit enhancement," "net profit revenue deficiencies," or "negative contributions to profits."

Doublespeak is very similar to but is not to be confused with speech that simply intends to flat out spread misinformation.

Now comes a Doublespeak example of “illegal alien.” Naturally it comes from a giant in the mainstream media, in this case, the LA Times.

To the Times and others, an illegal alien is best referred to as…

Illegal immigrant

Undocumented  immigrant

Undocumented worker

Unlawful immigrant

Out of status

Foreign national

In 2007, New York Times editorial writer Lawrence Downes wrote, “Used as an irreducible modifier for a large and largely decent group of people, it is badly damaging. And as a code word for racial and ethnic hatred, it is detestable.”

We could blog about the detestable crimes and diseases illegal immigrants perpetrate on this side of the border, but this installment is about semantics.

The LA Times doesn’t perform Doublespeak. It does Dancing Doublespeak.

According to the The Times, the illegal aliens…

Labor off the books

Labor in the shadows

Are misreported

Are informal workers

Are misclassified

Signify gray unemployment

In this 708-word article by the LA Times, the word “illegal” is never published.

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