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Kevin Fischer is a veteran broadcaster, the recipient of over 150 major journalism awards from the Milwaukee Press Club, the Wisconsin Associated Press, the Northwest Broadcast News Association, the Wisconsin Bar Association, and others. He has been seen and heard on Milwaukee TV and radio stations for over three decades. A longtime aide to state Senate Republicans in the Wisconsin Legislature, Kevin can be seen offering his views on the news on the public affairs program, "InterCHANGE," on Milwaukee Public Television Channel 10, and heard filling in on Newstalk 1130 WISN. He lives with his wife, Jennifer, and their lovely young daughter, Kyla Audrey, in Franklin.

Culinary no-no #199

Culinary no-no's

This week's entry includes the following ingredients, not in any particular order:

The gropers, grabbers and grunts at the TSA.

[Interior of main terminal]

Mitchell International Airport in Milwaukee

Jon Bream

Jon Bream of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune

Kopp's Frozen Custard in Glendale

The vanilla variety at Kopp's

Harvard University

HT for this week's entry: Jim Stingl of the MJS.

Good will ambassadors for the Badger State never want visitors to leave here with, shall I say, a bad taste in their mouth.

Recently, Jon Bream, a music writer for the Minneapolis Star-Tribune was in town, and upon heading home, thought he would take a popular souvenir home as he had in the past: a pint of Kopp’s vanilla.

Problem: The new sexual assault rules and regs had just been implemented at airports by the muggers in uniform, the TSA.

No problem: Bream asked another fellow in line if he thought frozen custard would pass the muster. Sure it would, the other traveler said, and his opinion should have been as good as any, being a Harvard Law grad.

Problem: The obligatory inquiry from the TSA worker who, I would bet my life, never took a Dale Carnegie course.

“What’s in the plastic bag?”

Bream wisely was honest.

Problem: The TSA worker now was confused.

He had no idea what to do.

Clueless, he called for back-up.

Now, two TSA workers huddled. Imagine one of those confabs on Sunday afternoon between referees during an NFL game.  Did he jump offside? Was he drawn off?  Could frozen custard be considered a terrorist’s weapon?

We better bring in someone else.

Enter a supervisor and another discussion. There is no truth to the rumor that while all this was transpiring a large group of bearded Islamists in their mid-20’s passed through security uncontested.

The thought of, “How many TSA workers does it take to examine custard?” comes to mind.

Finally, sanity prevailed. Bream and his custard got the green light, but not before TSA agents got to know him much better in a private room.

Vanilla custard a threat to national security?


This is probably the final no-no of the year so here are the top five most popular entries of 2010. Interestingly, the top three are from 2009.

1) Culinary no-no #147

A series of seasonal no-no's: Figgy pudding, health and safety are killing Christmas, are cookie exchanges lame, and leaving a copy of the
Christmas Cookie Liability and Indemnification Agreement out for Santa to sign.

2) Culinary no-no #121

Our favorite fast foods vs. Shiv Vada.

3) Culinary no-no #133

Seeing a celebrity chef in person, at what cost?

4) Culinary no-no #191

USDA sells cheese while warning against eating it.

5) Culinary no-no #149

Food police run amok in NY.

And just missing the Top 5, 
Culinary no-no #155, food and beverage advertising in cinema.

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